1
Derek’s been hanging on by a thread ever since he gave up his spark to heal Cora. He doesn’t regret it. Could never regret it. Not when it means his sister is alive. He just wishes that they were together.
He understands why she left. Beacon Hills hadn’t been her home for a long time. She’d returned because she’d heard about a new Hale alpha and pack.
Derek isn’t an alpha anymore and he’s lost his third pack. She has no desire to be an omega and is going back to the pack that essentially raised her.
He could’ve gone with her. He’d thought about it. But… he still feels responsible for Isaac. Scott and Stiles too. Feels responsible for the mess that Beacon Hills is (since so much of what is wrong can be traced back to him).
So he stayed and she’d left.
Scott still doesn’t like him. Will probably never like him. But he tolerates Derek now, at least. Hasn’t kicked Derek out of the pack or driven him out of Beacon Hills.
Derek does his best to be useful. Without the burden of leadership and responsibility, he can go back to being a good, strong beta. He can use all the supernatural knowledge he has from growing up in a pack and being raised to be Laura’s second.
He swallows his pride and does his best to not be confrontational. He tries to pretend that it doesn’t bother him that Scott seems to accept and like the twins more than Derek.
(But it grates. They’d held him as Kali pushed Boyd onto his claws and yet are more tightly bound to the pack when all he’s done is tried to help. He may not have done the best job but he, at least, hasn’t killed anyone—besides Peter and he deserved it.)
It’s humbling and humiliating and Derek takes it. It isn’t like he deserves anything better. He also doesn’t want to be an omega and he has nowhere left to go. Worse, he knows that there’s no one he can truly trust and rely on.
Derek realizes that he’s to blame for a lot of it. Too lost in anger and grief after Laura’s murder, he hadn’t made a good impression on anyone.
No one in Scott’s pack would side with him.
Derek’s carefully constructed house of cards collapses when he’s trying to warn Scott against meeting up with a pack that wants to visit. They’ve followed none of the usual protocols and that’s a good sign they don’t have good intentions.
Scott isn’t listening. Not the biggest surprise, really. He’s getting frustrated because the twins are also born wolves and they should be backing him up but he can see them smirking. Can see that they have no intention of speaking up or siding with him. He’s getting frustrated because Scott has never wanted to learn anything about being a werewolf from Derek.
Which, fine, it turned out he didn’t need Derek to learn control. But this isn’t the same thing. Werewolf traditions exist because they reduce fighting between packs. Werewolves aren’t uncontrolled monsters but they do have instincts. They have instincts and conflicts—just like those between humans—can get bloody and violent. Werewolves are smart enough to know that this isn’t a good thing, thus they rely on werewolf customs to avoid violent conflict.
This is information Scott needs if he wants to maintain control of his territory.
“Derek, I’ve made my decision,” Scott says with a flash of his eyes.
“Scott! If their intentions were good, they’d be following the proper protocols,” Derek insists.
“You aren’t the alpha anymore, Derek. I’ve made my decision,” Scott growls, this time putting a little alpha in his voice.
“Listen–” Derek starts.
“Enough!” Scott roars and Derek rears back, dropping his eyes, “I knew letting you stay was a bad idea. Violence is always the answer with you. That isn’t how we do things in my pack.”
Derek feels it then. Feels his flimsy pack bonds snap when Scott emphasizes that the pack is his. He didn’t say ‘our pack’, he said ‘my pack’.
Just like that, Derek is an omega.
“I think it’s best if you leave Beacon Hills. Everything was fine while you were gone… Then you came back and we’re still trying to clean up the mess.”
Derek hates the almost gentle way that Scott is speaking. He sounds so reasonable. Derek knows that if he argues or says anything at this point, the confrontation will be blamed on him.
“Scott, dude. This is Derek’s home and none of this is his fault,” Stiles suddenly says. Everyone has been deathly silent the whole time.
Derek isn’t sure who’s more surprised, him or Scott. They both turn to him in shock because Derek certainly never expected Stiles—of all people—to stand up for him. Especially not against Scott.
Stiles has always made it perfectly clear that his loyalty is to Scott. He’s also made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t like Derek. He can still remember Stiles’ angry words about Jennifer (Julia, whatever).
“You’re defending him,” Scott says with disgust, “You don’t even like him!”
“So? What does that have to do with anything? This pack has never been about liking each other. I don’t like Jackson because he’s a bully. I fucking hate the twins because they helped murder Erica and Boyd. I don’t like Allison because she’s a terrible human being with no moral compass. I don’t like Isaac because he’s a pretentious asshole who hates me. Pretty much the only person I do like is you! I’ve still put my life on the line to save and protect most of them and I’ll do it again. Okay, maybe not the twins because I’m not sure I’d piss on them if they were on fire but everyone else? Yeah. So I don’t like Derek and he doesn’t like me. Doesn’t change the fact that we’ve saved each other’s lives. Doesn’t change the fact that we’re pack,” Stiles has been yelling and flailing during his speech. Everyone is watching with wide eyes.
Derek has no idea what to think about any of what Stiles just said. It isn’t that he’s wrong… because he isn’t. Pack isn’t about who you like. At this point, he would die to protect Stiles. He turns to look at Scott, for the first time a little afraid of him. Or, afraid of his reaction.
Scott’s eyes are a bright, angry crimson, “If that’s how you feel, Stiles, maybe this isn’t the right place for you. After all, you’re human and don’t even need to be in a pack.”
Stiles goes still.
Derek can’t quite parse his chemosignals because there are a lot of heightened emotions right now. But he’s worried. In the year or so that he’s known Stiles he’s never once seen him stand (or sit) completely still. It sends a chill down his spine.
Then Stiles takes a deep breath and pastes a very fake smile on his face, “Sure, dude. Sure. Just remember, this was your decision. Let’s go, Derek.”
Derek follows mutely after Stiles. He’s in shock. Not about Scott kicking him out of the pack, he’s been half expecting this ever since he lost his spark. No… he’s shocked that Scott kicked Stiles out of the pack. More shocking is that Stiles stood up for Derek.
When he checks his bonds, he realizes that he still has one. It has to be Stiles’.
Stiles can feel that his hands are shaking. He has no idea what the fuck just happened or what he just did.
Well. Okay. He knows what happened. Scott was being a stubborn asshole. Stiles had also said that there was something fishy about the other pack but he couldn’t explain why. Derek had provided the answer. They were being sketchy as fuck. Except that Scott didn’t want to hear it because Derek was the one saying it.
Then… Scott kicked Derek out of the pack.
Then… Stiles had sided with Derek.
Against Scott.
He didn’t know what he’d been thinking. Fuck. He hadn’t thought twice, he’d just spoken. Which, sure, was pretty typical of him. He wasn’t known for his brain-to-mouth filter or thinking before he spoke.
The thing was… Stiles hated seeing the defeated slump of Derek’s shoulders. Hated the way Derek had been acting since losing his spark. Like an animal that’s been kicked so many times, that it was all he expected from people and life at this point.
Stiles hadn’t been lying. He didn’t like Derek. Dude was an angry, aggressive asshole. He made terrible plans and even worse decisions.
He’d also experienced more loss and shit in his life than anyone Stiles knew. Ever since seeing Derek break down over Boyd… it had changed how Stiles saw Derek. Derek was very good at hiding his vulnerability. Very good at looking strong and tough and like nothing in the world could touch him.
That moment of vulnerability had reminded Stiles, though, of just how much Derek had lost. Reminded Stiles that Derek was only twenty—only three years older than them. With the muscles, beard, and attitude it was easy to forget that Derek had been a teenager when he’d grumpy old man’d them in the preserve.
It had been easy to look at Derek and see an adult who should’ve been helping and guiding them. Who should’ve known all the answers and solved their problems. Stiles really understood why Scott didn’t like him. He did. They were the same reasons Stiles didn’t like him.
Even with his new insight, Stiles still didn’t like Derek. But he also didn’t dislike him anymore. He’d meant what he’d said: Derek was pack and he’d risk his life (again) to save him. More surprising was that Stiles truly believed that Derek felt the same.
If nothing else, Derek had proven that he’d put himself on the line to save Stiles and everyone else.
So, no, Stiles didn’t like Derek but—after all, they’ve been through together—he trusted and respected him. Which, to Stiles, was more important.
Especially since he didn’t like most of the people in his (former) pack and, more critically, he didn’t trust or respect them. At all.
Stiles was all for Scott trying to set himself up as the patron saint of second chances. He just didn’t understand why people like the twins couldn’t have their second chances somewhere else. Far away from him and the people he cared about. Deucalion got a second chance and he was somewhere else! They should’ve gone with him.
“Holy shit, what am I going to tell my dad?” Stiles suddenly wondered out loud.
“He knows about werewolves now, right?” Derek asked.
Stiles couldn’t remember when they’d started driving. Well, okay, when Derek had started driving? He’d been lost in his thoughts, “Where are we going?”
“Your place.”
“Awesome. Yeah, my dad knows about werewolves. But he’s only known about them for, like, a month. He still hasn’t quite accepted it all. I don’t know how I’m supposed to tell him that I have to leave town because Scott kicked me out of the pack. I do have to leave town, right?” Stiles wasn’t actually sure. He knew that Derek did but was that because Derek was a werewolf?
“It depends…” Derek trailed off. Stiles looked over and was a little surprised at how openly unsure his expression was.
“On?”
“You. As a human, you don’t have to leave the territory if you’ve been pushed out of the pack. But that’s only if you aren’t part of any pack. Right now, you still have a pack,” Derek explained.
Stiles was confused, “How can I have a pack if Scott just kicked me out?”
“Me. I’m your pack.”
“Oh. Man, I’m not firing on all cylinders. It’s a little hard thinking around the burning, ache in my chest. Is this what heartbreak feels like? Because I think I understand my dad a lot better now if this is how losing my best friend feels like. I can’t imagine if it were my wife. Or husband,” Stiles jolted at the sudden way that Derek pulled over and stopped the car.
“Tell me exactly what you feel.” Derek demanded in that special way he had.
Stiles was feeling too weary to argue like he normally would. He shut his eyes, “I don’t know, sourwolf. It feels like someone ripped out my heart. Like… there’s an aching, emptiness. Like… wait, it’s not empty. There’s still something there…”
Stiles had no idea what was going on because there was something there. Like a tie… Or, holy shit it was a bond!
“Stiles, that’s a pack bond. It’s our pack bond,” Derek said, putting a hand on Stiles’ shoulder. It eased the ache. A lot.
“What does this mean? Why didn’t I notice this before?” Stiles asked because what?
“Things have been so… chaotic. I– we didn’t have enough time to really build the pack. To explain what it meant and how it worked. But… right now, it means that you have to leave. Even if you broke our pack bond, you’d have to leave. Because, Stiles?” Derek waited until Stiles made eye contact, “Humans can’t feel pack bonds.”
Humans can’t feel pack bonds.
Stiles could tell that Derek was really trying because he’d explained as best he could without Stiles even needing to ask. Turns out that while Stiles might not be a werewolf, he was something more than human. Or less, depending on who you asked, he supposed.
He couldn’t help but remember what Deaton had said when he’d given Stiles mountain ash. Remember that he’d completed a circle even though there hadn’t been enough.
Remembered being told to be the spark.
He said as much to Derek. His best guess was that Stiles had magic. That Stiles was some kind of magic-user.
The important thing, right now, was that he had to leave the territory, even if he broke his pack bond to Derek.
(Not that he’d have even considered doing that. Because Derek had no one else. His sister had left at the first opportunity. Peter didn’t count. Stiles always said that he and his dad were all they had but that wasn’t true. Maybe the last blood relatives. But not all. Pack had taught him that much. His dad had Melissa and was a part of the community. He had friends. Not Derek, though. Plus, Stiles did not give up on people all that easily.)
It made the conversation he was about to have with his dad all the harder.
He’d been hoping his dad wouldn’t be home but he was. And it was even dinner time. Yay.
At least he wouldn’t have to do this alone—because he’d dragged Derek into his house saying that he wouldn’t abandon his only packmate, would he?
So here they were. Eating dinner with his dad.
“Okay, out with it, kid. What did you do now?” His dad finally asked.
“Well… Um… Derek and I have to leave Beacon Hills in like,” Stiles checked his phone, “Twenty-two hours because Scott kicked us out of the pack.”
“Excuse me? You want to explain?” his dad said, pointing a finger at him.
“Scott and I had a disagreement and he exiled me from the pack. Werewolf custom requires that I leave the territory within twenty-four hours or forfeit my life. Stiles… stood up for me and Scott kicked him out too,” Derek explained.
Stiles was grateful, he was but that was not an explanation that would satisfy his dad. Which is why his dad was glaring at Derek.
“See… what happened was this. There’s this pack that’s coming to visit soon but they’re super sketchy and probably up to no good. Something about the whole thing doesn’t feel right and I told Scott. At tonight’s pack meeting, Derek said the same thing because this pack isn’t following the right protocols, which is a pretty good sign that they are up to no good. Then Scott got mad and kicked Derek out, blaming him for everything that’s gone wrong recently. I said that Beacon Hills was Derek’s home and that he hasn’t done anything wrong. Then Scott got mad at me and kicked me out too,” Stiles flailed his way through his own explanation.
“That’s nice and all, but you’re seventeen and I—your father—say you aren’t going anywhere. I’ve tried to be understanding about all this supernatural stuff but enough is enough. Scott isn’t the boss of you, I am,” his dad said, looking angry.
“See… that’s the thing. Scott was the boss of me. And he’s the supernatural boss of Beacon Hills. If he says I have to go, I have to go,” Stiles said.
“You aren’t a werewolf. So you’re out of the pack. Fine. So just leave all this supernatural stuff behind and you can stay,” his dad insisted.
“Stiles still has a pack. We were in the same pack and he stood up for me. We’re still pack,” Derek said, looking as stoic as he ever got.
“Son, I sympathize with you. I do. But Stiles is a minor and if he has to stop being pack so he can stay at home—where he belongs—then that’s what he’ll have to do,” the sheriff said, not unkindly.
“Even if that were something I was willing to do,” Stiles interjected, “It’s not really an option. Even if Derek and I weren’t still pack, I’d have to go. Turns out I have magic? That means I fall under Scott’s jurisdiction, regardless of Derek.”
His dad’s eyes narrow, “Another secret you’ve been keeping?”
“No! I only found out today. Well, okay, Deaton said something cryptic about ‘sparks’ a while ago that I just sort of ignored because the guy never makes any sense but it was only confirmed today. I can feel my pack bond to Derek, dad.”
“Humans can’t feel pack bonds,” Derek quickly added.
“If you just found this out, that means Scott doesn’t know. Which means you can stay since he won’t know to enforce the rules,” his dad argued.
Derek shook his head, “You can’t think of this like human laws and courts. Because Stiles has magic, when he acknowledged and accepted Scott as his alpha and formed a pack bond, he made a commitment to abide by his authority as alpha of the territory. If he ignores Scott’s order to leave, he’ll become an Oath Breaker. It’s one of the worst punishments for a magic user because it means that he’ll be shunned by everyone in the supernatural community. Which is a lot bigger than you think and includes people with supernatural heritages so far removed that they are basically human. He’ll find it next to impossible to accomplish anything in the regular world. No college, no jobs, nothing. And it’ll strip his magic, something that will make him feel half-alive for however long he manages to survive.”
Stiles could tell his dad was reaching apocalyptic levels of rage, “Could Scott rescind Stiles’ exile?”
“Yes. If Stiles rejects me as pack and apologizes, I’m sure he would. They are best friends and Scott probably has no idea what the consequences of what he’s done are,” Derek cautiously says.
“I’m not rejecting Derek, dad, so don’t bother asking,” Stiles cut in before his dad could make that particular demand.
“Why not?”
“You didn’t raise me to be the sort of person who hurts people and breaks his word because it’d be easy or convenient. Derek and I are pack. Maybe we don’t like each other but we’ve risked our lives to protect each other. Derek doesn’t have anyone else, dad. Breaking our pack bond and making him an omega is practically the same thing as sending him off to die. Lone wolves have a short life span. I can’t do that. I won’t do it. I don’t want to leave you. You’re my dad and I love you but I’ll be going to college next year, anyway. I’m just getting a head start,” Stiles tried to smile bravely.
His dad sighed, “I can’t force you to break the bond. I also won’t make you stay and be magically punished for it. I’m still having trouble believing all of this. I’m going to talk to Melissa and Scott, see if we can get this resolved. I guess you should start packing and make some plans. I want to know exactly where you’re going and plan to do.”
He and Derek just nodded as his dad got up and left.
Derek knew he shouldn’t poke at it but… he had to know.
“Why?”
Stiles hummed, “Why what?”
“Why stand up for me? Why get exiled with me? Why not just reject me and apologize?”
Stiles stopped packing and looked at Derek, “I hope you’re not offended if I say that none of this is really about you. Or, well, that you aren’t the most important part of why I did what I did. A lot of it has to do with me and Scott. He’s my brother, you know? I’ll always love him. But since this all started, I’ve liked him less and less. He’s changed. Hell, I’ve changed. And that’s okay. It’s part of growing up, right?
“I meant what I said about the pack. Pretty much the only person in the pack I do like is Scott. Or, I guess, it’s more accurate that he’s the only one I love. The rest of them? Yeah, I don’t like them. That isn’t a big deal. The real problem is that I also don’t trust most of them and that is a big deal. The fact that he lets the twins hang around? Fuck no. Don’t even get me started on Allison.
“The difference with you is that I trust you. Maybe we don’t see eye-to-eye. We aren’t friends. Fuck, I barely know you. Like, as a person. But you’ve helped me. Saved my life. Looking back, I can see that all you’ve done is try to help. Maybe you didn’t go about it the right way. Maybe you didn’t always succeed. But, man, you tried. That counts for something.
“Last, did you see how it easy it was for Scott to just… toss me out? He didn’t even think about it! And no one stood up for me. I know everyone thinks I’m loyal to a fault but it isn’t true. I have my pride. I’m not going to sit around and hope that senpai notices me. Scott doesn’t think I have a place in the pack? He doesn’t value what I bring to the pack? Fine. I know my worth and I deserve better than that.”
Derek just nods. That was a lot to process. Still, there is one last thing he needs to ask, “And your dad?”
In contrast to before, Stiles starts packing with frenetic energy as he answers, “I normally wouldn’t say this. Especially not to you, no offence. But… we’re pack and as soon as we leave, we’ll be all we have. I’m tired of keeping stuff in, of hiding my feelings and ignoring my problems. It doesn’t get me anything. So… I’m glad to be leaving my dad. I love him. He’s my dad. But our relationship is toxic and fucked up and I’ve been doing my best to ignore it until I could leave for college and that’s all I want to say about it right now.”
Derek is… stunned. He’d always been a little jealous of Stiles’ relationship with his dad. It made him miss his father. He’s also surprised at Stiles’ candour. Stiles has been nothing but sarcasm and deflection the entire time Derek has known him.
Then again, Stiles was right in saying that they didn’t really know each other. The most time they spent together was when Derek was hiding in his room. Even then, they’d done their best to avoid and ignore the other. Derek had been angry and resentful and, well, he supposes Stiles might’ve felt the same. It hadn’t been a fun bonding experience.
For the first time since he’s known Stiles, Derek wants to get to know him. Wants to learn who Stiles is behind the sarcasm. Because he’s looking like someone Derek could like.
“I trust you too,” Derek starts because if they’re being honest now, Stiles deserves to know, “and you can stop saying I don’t like you. Thank you. For standing up for me and for not breaking our bond. Pack is… everything to me. I know I haven’t been the easiest person to get along with. I’ll try harder.”
“Dude, no. I mean… yes but also no. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you’ve been since Cora left. You’ve been trying to play along and make yourself useful. I don’t want you to do that with me. Just… be you. I get that I’ve probably only seen the worst of you. It’s been a shit year for you. And, like, no I don’t want to go back to the days where you were growling at me and pushing me into walls but I don’t want the meek Derek Hale who makes himself as small as possible and just tries to get along.
“It’s not like I’ve been a shining example of humanity to you, either. I think I said we should kill you or leave you to die, like, fifty times before you became the alpha. Maybe only twenty-five after. I’m a sarcastic shit who totally uses words as a weapon, like I told you that one time. Do you want me to… I don’t know, change my personality so I’m easier to get along with? Just because I’m afraid you’ll leave me?” Stiles asks and Derek can tell he wants an actual answer. So he shakes his head. He doesn’t want to see the fire and bravery that seems so central to Stiles go away, “See? You’re fucked up and I’m fucked up. We’re both assholes and we haven’t been all that nice to each other.
“How about we make a deal? Even though we’re being forced to leave, why don’t we look at this as a new start? Find somewhere we can settle down for a while where we aren’t dealing with a crisis every other day. Somewhere we can feel safe and, like, sort our shit out. Get to know each other. Figure out how to be our best selves. Grow as a pack. Sound good?” Stiles actually sticks out his hand, so they can shake on it.
It’s honestly the best offer Derek’s had in a really long time. It’s what his time with Laura should’ve been (but wasn’t because he’d been too consumed by grief and guilt). Derek wants this. Wants to feel like he’s part of a real pack again. Packmates don’t have to like each other, it’s true. But the strongest ones are built on love and trust.
So…
He ignores Stiles’ hand and follows his instincts. He wants to hug Stiles and scent mark him. Wants Stiles to scent mark him back. Wants to start the process of entwining their scents so that the world knows they’re a pack.
Derek can tell Stiles is surprised when Derek pulls him in for a hug. But it only lasts a moment. It takes him almost no time to melt into it and they’re suddenly clinging to each other. Derek thinks that the reality of their situation is crashing down on both of them.
He’s rubbing Stiles’ back to scent mark him. He knows that Stiles doesn’t have the same instincts so he says, “Scent mark me.”
“How?”
“Touch me with the intent to claim and mark me as pack. It’s what I’m doing as I rub your back. It’s claiming and scent marking, not just comfort,” Derek says quietly. He’s surprised when Stiles rubs his cheek on his beard. It’s a very intimate form of scent marking and he responds in kind without thinking.
It settles something deep within him. He hasn’t been scent marked like this since Laura left. He should’ve been doing it with the pack he built but he’d thought he’d have time after the Argents were gone for the softer aspects of being pack. Erica and Boyd probably wouldn’t have left if he’d made time.
He won’t make the same mistakes with Stiles.
This isn’t his last chance but he wants this to be the last pack he ever has. Derek refuses to lose another. Refuses to disappoint a packmate who gave up everything to stick with him. He’ll cut his own heart out if it means Stiles never regrets his choice.
2
They’ve been in San Francisco for years now. Stiles hadn’t wanted to move too far from his dad and Derek was happy enough to go wherever. The city, like most large cities, was largely neutral ground so they didn’t have to worry about pack politics. While they could’ve expanded the pack, they’ve both been happy with just the two of them. It helped that Derek had enough money for them to live well. Once, Stiles would’ve protested the situation but… it was pack money. Stiles contributed to the pack in his own way.
He’d finished high school because his dad had wanted him to but he hadn’t gone to college, instead of focusing on his spark and training his magic. Stiles’ magic wasn’t particularly strong but he loved learning and was very creative, so he made it work. He largely focused on alchemy and minor enchantments—especially alchemy and potions.
They heard the odd rumour now and then about Beacon Hills. After they’d left and after the visiting pack had killed one of the twins because—shocker—they’d come with ill intentions, they’d heard something about Allison being possessed by a demon.
That one had alarmed Stiles because he realized that he was probably the original target. It explained why the nightmares and darkness around his heart just… faded not long after they left Beacon Hills. They guessed that this is what all the messages on his phone had been about before Stiles changed his number. He hadn’t listened to any of them, still too angry about the whole thing.
So… life was good.
He and Derek spent every single minute of every day together. They both had some issues with abandonment and some serious separation anxiety. For a while, they’d both struggled with that. Tried to be ‘better’—whatever that meant. Eventually… they just accepted it. Deciding that it was okay to not be okay.
Maybe, in the future, they’d heal enough to spend an hour apart. Or maybe they’d heal and still want to spend all their time together. They had no real reason not to.
Stiles actually thought it was interesting, how everything came together.
When they’d left Beacon Hills, they’d only just gotten past a general dislike for the other. Just starting to get to know each other.
They shouldn’t have managed to get along so well. To fit into each other’s lives with such ease. Sure… some of it had to do with being desperately afraid the other would go and they’d be alone.
It was also that they were both very dedicated and loyal and they wanted this to work. So they made it work. For all that they’d been confrontational most of the time they’d known each other, they didn’t actually fight. They teased and they bickered but they didn’t fight.
Stiles wished he could say it was because they were both well-adjusted and emotionally mature individuals who knew how to communicate. He wished. In reality, they were both just too tired of fighting. After having spent so much time fighting, they didn’t want to fight each other. Not when they were all they had.
So they both learned to communicate like emotionally mature people. Derek talked about his feelings. Stiles talked about his feelings. They shared secrets in the night. Then they shared them in the light.
It was weird, having someone who knew everything about you. But also… freeing.
That was the thing, Stiles thought. Maybe they were co-dependent and broken as fuck but he didn’t feel trapped with Derek. He felt free. He felt safe. And he was happy.
Sometimes Stiles thinks it was inevitable. Then he remembers that they hadn’t even been friends—hadn’t liked each other—before they were exiled from Beacon Hills. Not so inevitable then.
And yet… Stiles can’t help but feel that way. Constantly pushed together by the universe, even as they snarked and argued the entire time.
Then that last big push…
Still, here he is, about to tell Derek that he’s in love with him. They don’t keep secrets from each other, not anymore and never again. Finding their way to being pack and having only each other hadn’t been easy. The trust hard-won and too precious to risk.
Stiles isn’t particularly worried about Derek’s reaction. He’s not even worried that it’ll make things awkward between them. They’ve moved so far beyond that it’s not even funny.
Derek knows Stiles finds him attractive. Neither of them have made a big deal out of it. Just like they haven’t made a big deal out of Derek’s attraction to Stiles. It’s just a fact. They don’t make a habit out of objectifying each other but, um, it’s sometimes hard to avoid knowing.
Like when one or both of them is naked and someone gets a boner. It’s a thing that happens between bros, okay?
This is different, though. This is Stiles realizing that he’s in love with, like, Derek’s soul. Because it’s beautiful and Stiles just wants to huddle near its warmth for the rest of his life. Which is exactly what he plans on telling Derek when he gets out of the shower.
So… right about now.
“Hey, um, Derek?”
Derek just grunts and Stiles thinks it’s ridiculous how reassuring that is. Derek is such a solid, stable guy.
“I’m totally in love with you,” Stiles just blurts out. It’s easier this way. Then again, it helps that he isn’t embarrassed. Why would he be? He’s in love with the most amazing person in the world.
Derek just grunts, “Love you too,” and keeps going about his business.
Stiles rolls his eyes. That was about what he’d expected, “Okay, but seriously though, can we start making out and having sex or whatever?”
This time Derek actually stops what he’s doing, turning to look at Stiles, one eyebrow raised.
“What? Don’t look at me like that. If I love you and you love me, why shouldn’t we make sweet, sweet love together?” Stiles waggles his eyebrows.
It’s Derek’s turn to roll his eyes but he walks over to Stiles, scoops him up into his arms, and carries him to their bedroom. Tosses in onto their bed, climbs on top of Stiles, and gives him the bestest and hottest kiss he could ever imagine.
They totally have sex or whatever.
It’s awesome.
Derek hates that Stiles hasn’t seen his dad in years. They talk on the phone but since Stiles can’t go to Beacon Hills after being exiled and his dad rarely has time off, it just hasn’t happened. Stiles’ relationship with his dad, though, is healthier and better.
So Derek doesn’t think much about it when Stiles gets a call from his dad.
“Hey, daddio! What’s up?” Stiles cheerily greets his dad.
Derek instantly goes on alert. Stiles’ heartbeat just started pounding and he smells like anxiety and fear.
“I can’t, dad, you know that. Obviously I want to see you but I can’t. Not unless Scott gives us permission,” there’s a pause, “I can’t call him either, dad. There are protocols to follow, even if he doesn’t know them,” Derek hates the way Stiles is smelling right now, “Fuck, I know but there isn’t anything I can do about it. Ms. McCall might be the best option. I still have her number in my phone and I’ll answer if she calls.”
Stiles hangs up and drops his head into his hands. Derek wraps his arms around Stiles and holds him tight.
“My dad got hurt on the job. He’ll most likely be fine but… there’s a chance that he might not be. And even if he is fine he’ll have to retire. He wants me to come visit. Maybe even stay a while to help out,” Stiles mumbles.
“If we can visit if we get permission but we’re not staying to help him,” Derek tells Stiles.
“I know. I don’t even want to. Don’t worry, I’m not going to invite him to live with us, either. Things are better between us but I can’t live with him again. Can’t give up my life to take care of him.”
Derek’s happy that Stiles isn’t regressing or backsliding. These are all things he’s said to Derek before. A few years ago would’ve had Stiles running back to Beacon Hills, regardless of the consequences. But he’s learned to let go.
They both have.
They’re both surprised when Stiles gets a call from Ms. McCall and it turns out to be Scott, “Dude, what’s this about your dad telling my mom that you can’t come unless I say you can?”
Stiles just sighs. He’s had years to get over this so he’s not bothered to hear Scott’s voice. But after only thirty seconds of dealing with him, Stiles already feels exhausted, “You exiled me and Derek from the territory? We can’t return without your permission.”
“What? No. Well, okay, maybe Derek but not you. You’re my best friend! Is this why you never come home? Wait, you’re still with Derek?”
“Derek is my pack, Scott. Of course, we’re still together. Does your invitation include him?”
“I guess… Does he really have to come? Or, wait–” Stiles can hear some muffled talking in the background, ”–Theo says we could probably use his help with something.”
There are a lot of things Stiles can say to that, most prominent in his mind is simply screaming incoherently into the phone so he sticks with, “So that’s a yes? You need to give explicit consent, Scott. And we’ll present ourselves when we arrive.”
“Ugh, you don’t need to be so formal. But, fine, he can come. See you soon, dude!” Scott’s voice is cheery as he hangs up.
Stiles turns to Derek and finds him watching. Can see a thousand unsaid things in his eyes. Things he isn’t saying because Stiles can already see his walls coming up.
It’s hard…
But he makes a decision at that moment that he knows he won’t regret, “We aren’t going.”
“But it’s your dad. You said he could die, we have to go,” Derek tries to insist but Stiles can already see the relief in his face, as those walls disappear.
“It is my dad. But you’re my pack. You know what I just saw? You withdrawing. You’ve come so far, we’ve come so far. I refuse to have you—either of us—backsliding. Not even for my dad. You’re my pack and my mate. There’s no choice because you’ll always come first. Always. And you should know this. You do know this. One phone call and you’re forgetting? No. I refuse,” Stiles says, voice gentle as he cups Derek’s face.
Tears are already sliding down his face and Stiles wipes them away.
“I do know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize!” Stiles insists, “I understand. I get it. It’s okay. Plus… I don’t know who the fuck Theo is and why he thinks you can help them with anything. I disliked and distrusted most of the pack when I still knew them. Some random fucking dude who knows your name and wants you in Beacon Hills? Fuck no!”
“Thank you. I love you so much,” Derek whispered.
Stiles just held him tighter.
Stiles’ dad died. Derek felt guilty that they couldn’t return for Stiles to see him one last time and that they didn’t return for the funeral.
Stiles, in his usual way, let Derek stew in his guilt for about a day before knocking him out of it—by reminding him that Stiles made his own decisions and Derek needed to respect that. They both really had grown a lot. Because it was easy to let go of his guilt.
He respected no one more than Stiles and it had been his decision. He might’ve done it for Derek but that was also his choice to make. Derek couldn’t feel anything but grateful.
Stiles listened to part of one message from Scott full of accusations about not coming to see his dad and rambling about Theo and some nonsense about chimeras before stopping the message and deleting it.
It wasn’t their problem.
Then Stiles changed his number. With his dad gone, Stiles was happy to cut all ties with Beacon Hills.
Derek was happy. Happier than he thought he’d ever be after the fire. His life was simple and calm and everything he needed. Stiles was everything he needed.
He could wake up every day—like today—with Stiles curled around him. Safe and sheltered in the arms of a man who’d given up everything to stand at his side, just because it was the right thing to do. But who’d stayed because he’d been able to fall in love with the broken mess Derek had been.
Derek had lost everything so many times but somehow he got to have this. Got to have Stiles. And—because of Stiles—he knew he deserved it.
That he was worthy and good.