changing everything carefully

The alpha pack is dangerous. No one knows what they want but they’ve been making their presence known.

Especially to Stiles. He can barely step outside his door without one of them lurking or stalking him. It’s incredibly annoying. Also scary. But mostly annoying at this point.

Eventually he learns the reason: he’s a human who is essentially at the periphery of the pack.

He smells enough like them to draw attention but not enough to seem claimed.

It’s stupid.

And annoying.

“So… you’re telling me is that I need to cuddle a bunch of the wolves? That’s okay. Scott’s used to being my snuggle buddy,” Stiles says.

Scott nods but then shakes his head.

“That’s not the kind of claiming we’re talking about,” Derek has the most long-suffering, pained look on his face.

“So what kind of claiming are we talking about?” Stiles demands.

“You do need to smell more like pack. But you need to smell claimed by a single person,” Derek says.

“You know…” Stiles starts suspiciously, “You’re never very forthcoming with info. But you usually just grunt or growl. You don’t use a bunch of words to talk around the issue.”

“You need to smell claimed. Romantically,” Derek grits out.

“Oh. Can’t Scott do that?” Stiles asks.

Scott replies, “Well, I’m already with Allison…”

“Yeah, trust me, we all know. But polyamoury is totally a thing and I could be your third,” Stiles interrupts.

“No,” Derek growls, “I’ll do it.”

Stiles just gapes at him because what.

“You’ll do it…” he says in a very dubious tone.

“Yes.”

“Okay, sure,” Stiles shrugs.

He can tell everyone is surprised, they’d thought he’d put up more of a protest.

Except that Stiles has a crush on Derek and is totally willing to take this opportunity to get all up on that.

Derek’s settled in his bed for their night time snuggle session and Stiles has curled into him.

Stiles has been thinking about it.

He had planned to pretend date the fuck out of Derek because he figures it’s the closest he’ll ever get. Except that it seems dishonest. And he feels like Derek’s had enough of that to last him a lifetime.

So he takes a deep breath, “I’m going to do something radically out of character and be honest with you. I have the biggest fucking crush on you. Quite possibly I’m in love. I just want you to know. I was going to just… pretend date you and enjoy our time together. But… it feels like using you. I’m going to enjoy the shit out of cuddling and whatever – like you don’t even know because cuddling with you right now is so awesome. There might be some awkward boners because I’m a teen and you’re a total dreamboat. However, I promise not to do anything inappropriate and I won’t push. I know I’m kind of a little shit and pushing is my trademark. But not with this and not with you.”

It’s scary but it also feels really good to just tell Derek. He’s been angsting over his doomed crush for months now. This whole situation was starting to cause him unmanageable amounts of anxiety.

Getting it all out there is a relief.

He’s surprised, though, that Derek hasn’t tensed up or pulled away. That his grip on Stiles is actually tightening.

“I volunteered to do this because I care about you. More than I want to. I want you to be safe but it also makes me crazy to think of you doing this with anyone else. It’s not fair. I don’t know what I feel. It’s been so long since I really wanted anything for myself. Can we start with this and take it slowly?” Derek asks in a quiet voice.

It’s the most vulnerable Derek has ever been around Stiles. And it tips his feelings right over into ‘in love’ territory. He’s fine with that.

“Yeah, Derek. We can start with this and go as slowly as you want. While I do think you’re hot and whatever, that isn’t why I want to be with you. So I can be happy with cuddling, hand-holding, and hugging. Er… if those are okay with you?” Stiles asks.

“Yeah, that sounds nice. I’ve never had that before,” Derek confesses.

“I guess not, considering. It honestly makes me want to cuddle with you and make you hot chocolate and do all sorts of sweet and tender things. I’m going to cherish the shit out of you,” Stiles promises.

Derek’s arms tighten and his voice comes out raspy, “Okay. I’m going to make sure you always know how valued and necessary you are.”

And isn’t that just like Derek? Finding Stiles’ major insecurities and promising to soothe it away.

That sneakily observant and caring asshole.

“It’s official, sourwolf. I totally love you. Just so you know,” Stiles whispers.

“Thank you. Goodnight, Stiles,” Derek whispers back.

“Goodnight.”

Things after that are so good.

Like… fulfilling every single domestic fantasy Stiles ever had.

And, whatever, fucking sue him. Yes, he can see that Derek is probably the hottest person he’ll ever see in real life. Doesn’t change the fact that he’s spent more time fantasizing about cooking dinner with Derek than fucking him.

Not to mention the number of times he’s dreamed about doing mundane things while holding Derek’s hand. Or just being able to hug Derek whenever he thinks he needs one. Which, admittedly, is almost all the time but Stiles likes to think he’s learning moderation (he only hugs Derek about every five minutes instead of glomping on and never letting go).

That’s all good.

What isn’t good is that the rest of the pack doesn’t believe it’s real. They still think it’s a ruse for the alpha pack.

Stiles has given up on trying to convince them.

(Even if he finds it super annoying. Because a lot of the teasing is about how it feels to hug a cactus – Derek is prickly, get it? Lol.)

They eventually deal with the alpha pack.

Everyone was surprised when Stiles and Derek continued their relationship.

It was slow and steady.

Derek wasn’t doing therapy or anything like that. He wasn’t in a place where he could trust a stranger like that. He was talking to Stiles, though. Slowly opening up by careful increments.

Stiles honestly surprised himself.

He was many things… but patient wasn’t one of them.

He had no idea where he’d gotten the patience to slowly nurture a relationship with Derek.

Maybe he just needed the right motivation to be patient.

He couldn’t think of any greater motivation than earning Derek Hale’s love and trust.

He’ll always be glad he decided to reject the frankly ridiculous romcom idea of faking a relationship with Derek.

Otherwise he’d never’ve known what it felt like to be so in love with someone that every moment feels so full and perfect.

So full of joy that it was impossible to yearn for more.

He’d never know that love could grow by slow, barely noticeable increments.

That one day he’d look around and be surprised that the fragile (but so very precious) relationship they’d started had grown vaster than empires.¹