Derek’s reading to him and Stiles is kind of drifting on the sound of his voice.
They do this most nights.
Stiles has always loved Derek’s voice. The way he looks, it’s always a surprise that he doesn’t have a deep, gravelly voice.
It’s lighter. Smoother.
It’s comforting and Derek’s surprisingly good at doing the voices. Also at being significantly more expressive than when he speaks.
Derek usually reads to him while he’s cuddled up in some way. His head in Derek’s lap. Sitting on his lap. Curled around his body.
He’ll leech some pain and read to Stiles.
They were moments of perfect peace.
Derek’s lovely voice. The scent of him. His warmth. The feeling of safety and care.
Having Derek in his life isn’t some kind of magical cure-all.
Stiles’ knee is still fucked. His brain is still fucked. He’s still depressed and has serious anxiety.
Derek did help with the depression. It turned out that some of Stiles’ depression was the result of broken pack bonds. And creating a new, strong one with Derek filled a dark, empty place that had ached for years and been untouched by his meds.
Stiles appreciated being able to have a few pain free moments; Derek couldn’t take too much pain for too long a period. It would be far too easy for Stiles to further injure his knee if he tried to move around too much while feeling no pain.
After all, ignoring his pain was what had so entirely fucked up his knee.
Still… Stiles had a moment, each night, when he was in bed with Derek that was utterly pain-free. Derek would curl around him and leech his pain.
It was divine.
It was the best part of his day. Having Derek warm behind him. Feeling no pain.
Derek had moved in after the hug that changed everything.
Stiles had no idea what they were, beyond friends and packmates. He tried not to think about it too much.
Derek slept in his bed. Was around all day. He did so many small things to make life easier for Stiles.
He also became bossy as fuck (which was, admittedly, just Derek on a day ending in ‘y’). Stiles remembered the days when even the smallest order from Derek would’ve had him arguing and snarking back.
Now? It just felt too fucking good to have someone take care of him.
Too good not to have to struggle to complete small tasks. To find the energy to do all the things he needed to in a day.
He actually had the energy to do things he enjoyed.
So he didn’t protest when Derek unilaterally moved them into a nicer apartment. Or when Derek ordered him to quit his job since Derek had all that Hale money and neither of them needed to work.
He fucking hated working at wal-mart. Sure. If he’d had a job he actually liked he probably would’ve balked at becoming Derek’s charity case.
Or probably not. After years of scraping by with almost no money. After years of being disabled, he didn’t really have any pride left.
Or, at least, not enough to protest against having his financial worries taken away.
But… as Derek said: they were pack. And pack supported each other.
Stiles had no idea how he was supporting Derek (at least beyond the anchor thing, which Stiles wasn’t thinking about).
He thought about his life a lot. Not as much as he used to.
It also wasn’t tinged with nearly as much bitterness.
He was learning to live in the present, now that his present was much improved.
But when Stiles did think about his life, it was hard not to be amazed at how ridiculous it’d been.
He knew from Derek that even by supernatural standards he’d lived an interesting life.
If the sort of thing that happened in Beacon Hills was common, there was no way the supernatural wouldn’t have been exposed.
For all that, Stiles was pretty sure the most amazing and unbelievable part was being here, now with Derek.
Derek is sleepy-eyed and brushing his teeth. Getting ready for their day.
They’d woken up together.
Derek was going to get groceries today and then they’d go to the park together.
Later they had an appointment for a specialist Derek was dragging him to, to see if they could improve Stiles’ quality of life.
Stiles had been going to physiotherapy and his knee would never be better but it had improved.
Amazing the healthcare you could access when you threw money at the problem.
Derek Hale had made it his life’s mission to take care of Stiles.
He was tackling the problem with all the intensity and focus he used to devote to supernatural fights.
In a life filled with the impossible, this still seemed the most unbelievable.
Stiles ended up in the hospital after he fell on the bus during a dizzy spell and his knee gave out. People normally got up to let him sit but he’d been trying to stand to get off the bus. And, bam, his shit body got the best of him.
He’d tried to resist going to the hospital since they couldn’t do anything for him, but the driver insisted. Didn’t want TriMet sued.
Derek usually just went everywhere with Stiles. Or Stiles went everywhere with him. Either way, Stiles was rarely alone.
So, of course, this happens when he’s alone.
Derek, understandably, freaks the fuck out when he’s called. Freaks out even more when he’s not allowed to see Stiles, as he isn’t family. Eventually it’s sorted and Stiles can go home.
Except that isn’t where they go.
Instead Derek drags him to the courthouse and tells Stiles they’re getting married so that this never happens again.
For the first time, Stiles actually argues.
Because what the fuck? Maybe he’d like to get married to someone who loves him and maybe wants to fuck him?
Derek responds by giving Stiles the most epic kiss.
And, because he’s evil, Derek takes advantage of Stiles’ daze to hustle them through the line and Stiles finds himself standing with his new husband an hour later.
It makes the money situation a little easier for Stiles to accept because, well, Derek’s money was now their money. Stiles definitely had no qualms about depending on his husband.
Especially not when his husband (god, how weird is that) made it very clear how desired and loved Stiles was.
Their quiet domesticity now included scorching hot bouts of sex.
It was awesome.
Stiles finally felt like he was living again.
So, of course, this is when Scott called Derek asking for help with some supernatural situation or other.
Derek didn’t want to go because he wasn’t leaving Stiles ever again but also didn’t want Stiles to have to go back to Beacon Hills.
Stiles, however, was known for being loyal to a fault. And the fault here was that he still cared about Scott. Still wanted him to be safe and wanted to help, even if Scott had thrown him away.
It took some doing, but Stiles managed to convince Derek to go. And Stiles would go with him.
Stiles had to promise that he wouldn’t get directly involved or place himself in danger. Before he’d never have agreed to this but now? After years of living with and being forced to accept his limitations, he knew he couldn’t help with any physical situation.
Plus, he had no desire to see Scott or the rest of the pack again.
Derek didn’t have the loft anymore so they were just staying at the nicest hotel in Beacon Hills. Plus, this way Stiles was guaranteed a working elevator and they booked one of the rooms designed for accessibility.
The plan was pretty simple: Derek would go and meet Scott to take care of whatever and Stiles would basically just hang around the hotel. Stiles had zero desire to go out and see anything. He could seriously just order room service and not leave the room. Which is exactly what he planned on doing. Being in a public building also drastically decreased his chances of getting caught in whatever supernatural shenanigans were going down.
Since it was Beacon Hills, though, this plan almost immediately died a gruesome death.
Derek was off doing something. Stiles was anxious and wanted to vape. He had a prescription for pot and, generally, wasn’t supposed to do it in public but he knew that most police were lax about it. And he wanted to go for a small walk.
Somehow, he managed to run into Ms. McCall on his small jaunt. It was mostly okay because she was one of the few people he didn’t mind seeing, but he wasn’t all that happy since he knew it meant that Scott would find out.
“Stiles?” she asked.
“Oh. Heyyyyy, Ms. McCall. How’re you doing? You look good.” Stiles was in that nice floaty space. Feeling mellow and his nausea had receded. He did have to stop and sit on the stool part of his walker, though.
Standing was not something he was great at today.
“Stiles. My god, what happened to you? Where have you been?”
“Oh, well. I live up in Oregon now. Portland, you know? And what do you mean what happened? I was like this the last time you saw me.”
“No. You weren’t. You had a cane. But you certainly weren’t doing drugs.”
“Dude, no. I’m not doing ‘drugs’,” Stiles actually made air quotes, “I have a prescription for it. It’s medicinal. You know, for the nausea? I have the walker because it’s been a bad day for it. Plus, I’m super anxious about being back here and it’s been a while since I’ve spent this much time away from Derek.”
“I see…” She clearly didn’t see.
“Anyway. I’m going back to the hotel. Now that I’ve smoked, I’m feeling well enough to eat. And if I don’t, Derek will get all mega-mother hen on me. And, man, he has the saddest puppy eyes ever. I used to think Scott was the champion. But nothing will ever beat Derek’s grumpy face doing puppy eyes. The guilt is fucking killer. It’s his true secret weapon. So, yeah, it was good to see you,” Stiles walked off without waiting for a reply.
Because he really didn’t feel like dealing with it. It had been good to see her, but the sad, pity eyes were a bit much. Especially when she’d abandoned him just as much as Scott had.
Stiles knew it was only a matter of time until Melissa told Scott and he’d be forced to see him again. Or maybe Scott would use his wolfy senses and smell Stiles on Derek. Either way.
It was giving him a lot of anxiety. Enough that he kind of just wanted it to happen sooner rather than later. Just get it over with.
Fortunately, He and Derek were together when Scott finally knocked on their door.
Derek looked at him and Stiles nodded. Because this had been inevitable the moment he came back to Beacon Hills.
So Derek answered the door and Scott burst into their room, “Dude! It’s been forever. It’s good to see you,” he looked like he might swoop in for a hug but Derek stepped in his way.
Stiles had expected to feel a lot of things. Anger. Sadness. Longing. Something. But there was nothing. He was looking at the person who he used to call ‘brother’ and he just didn’t care.
He started giggling. Because it was such a relief.
Stiles wondered if this is what healing felt like.
Derek was smiling gently at him and Scott looked confused.
“Stiles? Everything cool, man?” Scott asked.
“Yeah. Everything’s totally fine. But I don’t have anything to say to you. And, like, zero desire to reconnect. I hope you’re having a nice life and all, but I’m not in it and I don’t want to be. Just here with Derek and we’ll be gone whenever all this done. Take care, man,” Stiles waved.
“But…” Scott started.
“No. You heard him. Leave now or we’ll go and you’ll have to solve your problem without my help,” Derek growled.
“You’re my brother! I never expected you to leave and never come back. I just wanted to protect you,” Scott said with the earnest, puppy face that always used to go straight to Stiles’ heart.
“Sure, okay. I don’t really care,” Stiles shrugged, “But I guess you don’t need Derek’s help and I miss home.”
“We do need Derek’s help! We could use yours too, you’re still the best researcher I’ve ever met,” Scott was now sounding a little desperate.
“Too late. You should’ve left when I asked. We’re going. Don’t call me again,” Derek growled and he pushed Scott out of the room.
They leave.
It’s really just that easy.
Stiles cares. He does. But not enough to stay in a place that’s toxic for both of them.
He’s just getting back on his feet and he doesn’t want to slide back into all that shit.
He definitely doesn’t want Derek to get sucked back into it. Not when he’s doing well too.
He’s also surprised that he has faith in Scott. For all of Scott’s faults, he’s definitely a hero. Always coming through in the end. Usually at the very last minute.
But he comes through.
Stiles figures that’ll be what happens here. Maybe they’d solve whatever crisis easier and faster if Derek helped or even Stiles, but… Scott’s the alpha and that’s all on him.
He’s in charge and, to be honest, stopped listening to Stiles long before he’d been pushed out.
As they leave, Stiles knows he’ll never come back.
There’s nothing left for him in Beacon Hills.
At one point in his life, he’d have given his life to protect Scott and the town.
He had sacrificed his mental and physical health. It’d been rewarded with being tossed out.
Maybe it was selfish. Maybe it was wrong.
But he was putting himself and his happiness first for once.
Well, okay, he’d probably put Derek first. Stiles was kind of built that way.
But he was learning that putting someone else first was okay if that person was putting you first.
He knew Derek put him first.
No doubts. None.
Derek had promised he’d never leave again. And Derek kept his promises.
Stiles kind of wished the sun was setting, for the full dramatic effect.
It was better, though, that the sun was shining as bright as their future.