Xander, meet Kyle

Prologue

Xander was contemplative as the ‘Welcome to Sunnydale’ sign receded in the distance. He had never really expected to survive graduation. Instead, he had lead his classmates in a battle against the Mayor. He had lived, but several others had died. In the aftermath of graduation so many things had changed. Angel left, yet again breaking Buffy’s heart. Everyone in the gang had started to seriously consider their future, which is when Xander noticed that he didn’t have much of one. Having bad grades and not expecting to live, he hadn’t made any real plans for his future. Willow and Buffy were going to college next year and if he stayed in Sunnydale, he would end up being a loser townie and they probably wouldn’t even have time to hang out with him, considering their bright college futures.

To Xander, spending even one more minute as a loser was intolerable, considering that he had been a loser from birth. He felt that if he didn’t leave Sunnydale now, he never would. Buffy and Willow thought he was on a road trip, when he was really looking for a new home. He had only ever been in Sunnydale, that dangerous and very small town. A town where most people knew his good for nothing parents and considered him little better than trailer trash. While Xander didn’t have many hopes and dreams for the future, he at least wanted to start living with a little dignity and pride. Things in short supply in Sunnydale.

Xander also didn’t want to think about the nightmares he had been having. Nightmares about graduation and all of the other horrors he had seen in the past three years. Right now, humor was no longer enough to get him through. He was also having flashbacks in daytime. He was having a lot of trouble sleeping and it seemed like his heart was always racing now. Sometimes he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving his house at night. Taking an unusual tactic and instead of making jokes, he had done some research. He was pretty sure that he had PTSD, which wasn’t surprising considering all that he had gone through in the past few years. Xander knew that he used humor to cope, but he was tired of coping. He wanted to feel healthy and he was tired of being afraid all of the time.

There was no question that he would continue fighting against dark side of the world, but he didn’t have to stay on the Hellmouth to do it. His part in the fight had always been small, or if it was big only because of his proximity to Buffy. Xander had no grand destiny or delusions of being a great warrior for the side of the good. Yet, fighting the bad was the only thing that gave his life meaning and he could do it wherever there were vampires. It might actually be safer to do it away from the place that drew the strongest and most vicious.

Then there was the fact that, like many other high school students, he waited until he graduated to come out of the closet. He had spent many hours day dreaming of going to a big city, where there would be an actual gay community, when he probably should have been studying. He didn’t know what he would do when he got to Seattle, but it was a place to start. He had considered San Francisco, but thought that it might be a little too gay and a little overwhelming. He wanted to dip is toe first and test the temperature before jumping into the deep end. Maybe he’d give San Fran a try, if Seattle was not of the good.

Also, Seattle had a teacher of the kind of martial arts he thought would be most useful in fighting vampires. So he would go there and finally learn how to defend himself and fight more effectively against vampires. This time, he would fight smartly, instead of just throwing himself into the fray and recklessly endanger himself. It had been a hard moment for him when he realized that Buffy and Cordelia were right. He was the Zeppo and he had nothing really to contribute to the fight. He wasn’t so great at research, he couldn’t fight, he had no super powers, he couldn’t do magic, his only real purpose was as canon fodder or vampire bait. Sure, he wasn’t completely incompetent, saving the day with O’Toole and saving Buffy were proof of that.

There was one difference, though, between then and now. Now he wanted to live. He wanted a future. He wanted to learn who he was, away from all the expectations. He didn’t want to be the comic relief anymore. He didn’t want to play the clown because he was afraid. He didn’t want to be afraid anymore. He wanted to meet his first boyfriend. He wanted to look in the mirror and respect the person he saw. Surviving graduation had shown him that he was a survivor and that it was time to think about actually having a future.

One Month Later

Xander walking around a park just outside of Seattle, he had been in Seattle for a month now and he loved the city. The downtown was full of large, old buildings that were grand and beautiful; almost everywhere in the city had a scenic view. He was glad that he came in summer, because the weather was quite pleasant and not too cold to his Californian sensibilities. The park he was currently walking in had become a Sunday ritual for him. He found that coming out here simply made him feel better. It also gave him the opportunity to practice some of the more meditative aspects of the Gong Fu that he was taking.

He was meandering slowly through the forest around him, slowly soaking up the calm and ease that came from being surrounded by nature when he heard the rattle of a snake. He froze and looked around him, trying to see if he was in immanent danger. He couldn’t see the snake, so someone else must have stumbled upon it. Looking for the source of the sound, he was prepared to aid whoever had disturbed the snake.

Up ahead there was a clearing where there was a guy sitting naked, staring curiously at the snake. In the blink of an eye the snake struck out, but the guy grabbed it in mid-strike. Xander was taken aback, he hadn’t seen anyone other than Buffy or a vampire move that fast. He still kinda figured that aid was necessary considering that there was a naked guy in the clearing. Being naked in the woods wasn’t your normal day-hiking outfit.

Making some purposeful noise, Xander entered the clearing. The rustling of leaves caught the attention of naked guy, who turned to Xander with a look of extreme curiosity. Curiosity the likes of which Xander had never seen. It was almost as if naked guy didn’t know what Xander was. Xander kept an even pace and a big, welcoming smile on his face with his palms out and open. He was hoping that naked guy would know that he came in peace. As he drew near to naked guy he realized that this guy was not only covered in pink goo but probably one of the most beautiful guys that he had ever seen. His eyes were wide and deep blue. They seem completely untouched by all of the bad things in this world. It was naked guy’s eyes that first clued Xander into the fact that something strange was going on. The purity Xander saw in his eyes both soothed his spirit and made him sorrow, for the first time, over his loss of innocence, in the face of the true nature of the world.

The clarity of those eyes made Xander look away, this is when he discovered that naked guy had no belly button. Feeling vindicated about the strangeness of the situation Xander smiled again and spoke.

Shortly after the strange hissing creature went away I heard a rustling in the trees. Soon a new creature emerged. Its eyes were kind and it was smiling. It came at a steady pace and stopped near me. I noticed that it similarly shaped to me but covered in something. I looked at it and it looked at me. Its eyes, while kind, seemed to be troubled and it looked away. It did not seem threatening and I wondered if it would be my companion. Soon it again looked at me, this time it made a noise.

“Hey there, naked guy with no belly button, whatcha doin’ out here? Besides being all naked and stuff?” as soon as Xander began to speak the naked guy looked even more curious and intent. Xander shivered a little from the weight of examination to which he was being subjected.

It made noises that I did not understand. Yet it’s voice was pleasant and warm sounding. I wanted to speak again and was afraid that if I did anything it would leave me here by myself. I looked at it expectantly and curiously, struggling to make sense of its noises. But it simply stood there smiling, as if it too were waiting.

A few long moments passed, with Xander smiling and naked guy looking curious, when Xander decided that this strange situation with the naked guy had to change. So he reached into his bag for the blanket he used for meditating and wrapped it around the naked guy. When the naked guy simply stood there, curiously touching the blanket, Xander sighed and began to wipe off the worst of the pink goo.

The creature wrapped some sort of covering on me, different from its own. The covering’s texture was interesting and I was intrigued by how it felt. Now being covered, I began to wonder if this creature was the same kind as me. Was I supposed to make noises too? I was not sure if I had ever made noises before or if I could now. It again made a noise and began to rub me. The curious pink stuff on my skin began to clear away. I had not realized that it wasn’t supposed to be there. The sensation of his hands on me, rubbing was pleasant I closed my eyes so I could focus on the feeling.

By this point, Xander was pretty sure that naked guy was a clone or something. Looking at the closed eyes and seeing the slight smile on his face, Xander thought naked guy was kinda like a new born. It would also explain the strange pink goo. The completely human appearance and lack of a belly button strongly suggested the possibility of naked guy being a clone to someone who had experienced things far more strange and with a deep love for science fiction. It had been common knowledge in Sunnydale that Xander was a nerd, it was one of the many reasons why Xander had not been popular.

“Alright, naked guy who also doesn’t seem to speak and probably doesn’t understand a single word that I’m saying, it isn’t safe to stay in the woods and you are in no condition to go anywhere under your own steam, so you’re coming home with me. Fortunately, I no longer live with my parents which means we get to avoid the whole awkward ‘he followed me home, can I keep him?’ scenario. So, let’s get with the walking and we can get you a shower and some clothes,” Xander kept up a steady level of chatter, because naked guy seemed to like it. Naked guy also seemed happy enough follow along with Xander.

The creature again made many noises which I still did not understand. This time, though, I was able to perceive a pattern to the noises. Again I found the voice pleasant and was very glad when it continued to make them. It placed an arm on me and gently guided me to follow it. I was very happy that the creature had decided to be my companion. I did not know where it was taking me, but its warm voice and kind eyes made me feel safe.

Back at Xander’s

After seeing Kyle’s behavior in the ride to his place, Xander was fully convinced that he was a clone who had just been born. The not-so-naked guy had been equally curious about everything he was seeing, as if he were seeing it for the very first time. Xander was pretty sure that he really was seeing everything for the first time. Then again, not-so-naked guy could be the proverbial boy raised by wolves, except that even in that case, he wouldn’t be quite so stunned. Plus, Xander wasn’t sure that there were any actual wolves around Seattle.

The creature led me to another creature, one which we climbed inside and began to move very fast. Soon we were surrounded by all sorts of wonderful and strange things. I began to realize that we were not in a creature but in some kind of vehicle. Other creatures like my new companion were in vehicles all around. The beauty of nature was soon replaced with structures of a different kind. What were these structures? Who had built them? It seemed that they were places for creatures like my companion. Did I have a place among them? Is this where I belonged?

When they got back to Xander’s apartment, Xander decided that the best thing for his furniture would be for the naked guy to take a shower, since the guy was still quite covered in the pink goo; except, that the guy didn’t seem to know what to do. Also, when Xander left the washroom, the guy simply followed him out. Giving another big sigh, Xander realized that he essentially had a rather large new born baby; which he was probably going to have to potty train. Alarmed by the notion, because he so was not going to be cleaning pee out of his carpet, he gently tugged naked guy back into the bathroom.

My companion took me into one of the structures, this was apparently his place. He welcomed me inside and I hoped that there would be a place for me here too. He brought me to a room with a small pool of water and an object which called to me and was strangely comforting. I did not understand why he looked at me expectantly or why we were here. When he left I followed him, but then he brought me back to the same room. This time I noticed that one of the surfaces in the room made a double of my companion. Beside his was another creature. Upon examination I realized that the creature was me. It seemed that I really was in the same kind of creature as my companion, since we had many characteristics in common.

Xander’s bathroom was not very big. He hadn’t been able to afford a very large place, it was a not so large bachelor’s space (because Xander had been amused by the idea of a ‘bachelor’s apartment’, since he was now a ‘confirmed bachelor’ himself, had taken the place even though it was small). Xander didn’t really have any experience with children and absolutely did not know how to go about potty training one. The best idea he could come up with was to show the guy, but this promised to be an unbelievably embarrassing situation. As Xander weighed the pros and cons of cleaning pee or being embarrassed, the naked guy was fascinated with his reflection in the mirror. Xander was happy that naked guy was distracted while he was paralyzed with indecision.

Outside of the sheer possibilities for humiliation, Xander realized that he didn’t want his first naked experience with another guy to be some awkward potty training scenario. While he had never had sex with a man, he was pretty sure that he wasn’t into water sports. Then again, the clear innocence in the naked guy’s eyes made him seem too young for Xander and this situation was about as un-erotic as taking a shower with his own dad would have been. Sighing and resigning himself to what appeared to be necessary he began to undress. The moment he did, naked guy turned away from the mirror and watched him curiously. Yup, Xander knew that this was only the beginning of the soul crushing embarrassment.

My companion removed his coverings and I noticed that there was something he had that I didn’t. Where was the little hole in my belly? Did this mean that I was a different creature than him? Or was this one of the variations between our kinds, like the hair on his chest that I didn’t have? My companion soon went to stand in front of the small pool of water. After few moments, one of his appendages began to leak. When he was finished he touched the container of the pool and the water swooshed away. I then understood that this pool of water was for disposing of bodily waste. My companion positioned me where he had just been but now his face was red. I closed my eyes and waited, and soon I felt a most pleasing sensation that released a tension in my belly that I had not fully realized was there.

Once Xander was fully nude, he knew that naked guy now realized that they were of the same kind. So, he went to the toilet and closed his eyes. He did his best to forget that he had an audience, a few moments later he was finished with his business. Opening his eyes he looked over at the naked guy and gestured. Naked guy came closer but did nothing else, so Xander stepped away from the toilet and positioned him in the right place. A look of understanding came into naked guy’s eyes and Xander realized that while his experience had been embarrassing it was also successful. The naked guy soon finished his own business.

Xander just knew that he would also have to bathe the guy. The pink goo had to come off and Xander knew that he wouldn’t know what to do in the shower or bath. So he turned on the shower, set it at a nice warm temperature and climbed in, sure enough naked guy followed. Except, now, as Xander suddenly realized, there were two naked guys. In a shower. Together. Silently Xander cursed his Hellmouth luck. Only he could end up taking a shower with another guy and have it be completely innocent. He started to do his normal shower routine. Every time he finished an activity the other naked guy copied him. Xander was happy that even though other naked guy didn’t seem to talk or anything, he was smart enough not to actually need help doing every damn thing. He only needed to be shown what to do.

When my companion took me into the small space that I found appealing, I realized that it was a little crowded and that the creature was very close to me. I wanted to touch his skin to see if it felt the same as mine. I already knew that his hands were not the same. Mine were soft, while his were rough; the dark hair that he had intrigued me and I wanted to feel it. Soon, though, water became to flow from an appendage on one of the surfaces. It was warm and felt very nice. My companion soon began to do something and when he looked at me I realized that he wished for me to do the same.

Soon enough they were finished with their very strange shower and dried off. Xander left the bathroom and naked guy followed. Xander also decided that naked guy needed to start talking, otherwise things might get a little tricky in the future. With this in mind Xander spoke as if the guy understood, he also named the various things in the room. Naked guy also needed to stop following him around, because Xander didn’t think his boss at work would appreciate having a naked guy hang around.

This chimed a bell in Xander’s head. It was time for naked guy to get not so naked. Xander dressed himself and handed naked guy some of his clothing. Soon enough naked guy wasn’t naked anymore; which meant that Xander had to think of something else to call him.

“Ugh, so, not-naked-anymore-guy, I think we need to figure out something to call you. I’m Xander,” Xander accompanied this by pointing to himself, “Xander. How about we call you Kyle?”

After we had finished with the water and the small space, my companion once again put on his coverings. He then gave me coverings similar to his. I put them on in precisely the same way that he did and enjoyed the curious feeling. It was somewhat constricting but I realized that the coverings were meant to protect our skin from the world. I was happy that my companion wanted me to be safe. There were many objects in this room of which I did not know their purpose. He made noises again but this time he made a particular sound accompanied with a gesture.

The guy who was no longer naked had been looking around the room, though Xander could tell he was listening because every time he stopped speaking the guy would look at him. When he said ‘Kyle’ the guy looked up so Xander thought the name was a good one. Xander walked up to Kyle and re-iterated this whole business of names.

“So, I’m Xander,” once again pointing at his own chest, “and you are now Kyle. Kyle,” Xander now pointed at Kyle’s chest. Xander saw recognition dawn in Kyle’s eyes and when Kyle smiled, Xander knew that he had understood.

Curious as to what the significance of the gesture and sound was I focused on my companion. When he repeated the noise while gesturing at itself, I realized that this noise must refer to it. Then it made another querying noise and gestured towards me. This must be the sound that refers to me. I smiled because I had not known the sound that meant me.

“Okay, so I’m a little tired of talking right now, so how about we, and by we, I mean me, make some dinner? Sound good?” With that Xander began to make something simple. Xander didn’t know how to cook well or know that many dishes, but he was slowly learning. He did like to listen to the radio when he cooked, though, and had started to listen to Seattle’s classical music station. Sunnydale didn’t have that many radio stations and Xander had never really thought to deeply about music. It turns out that something about classical appealed to Xander. He didn’t know anything about it and just sort of listened to whatever came on the radio.

He had been busy for a few minutes at the stove, really enjoying the piece that they were playing, when he heard Kyle make a sort of inarticulate noise. Startled because it was Kyle’s first sound; Xander spun around to see what had caused Kyle to make one now. He saw that Kyle was staring transfixed at the radio with tears in his eyes, meaning that it was the music. Xander walked over and gently touched Kyle on his arm. Kyle looked earnestly into Xander’s eyes and made another noise, but this time picking up the radio. Xander decided that dinner could wait a few more minutes, he turned up the music and pulled Kyle over to the bed. Lying down, Kyle soon followed. Kyle then curled up a little at Xander’s side, and they lay there cuddling a little until the piece finished.

My companion left me a while to do something in a different part of the room. I was still curious about many of the objects in the room so I did not mind. However, I was quickly distracted by the sounds coming from a box. It was part mathematics and part euphoria. It was different from all the sounds I had heard so far, and my companion did not seem to notice this miracle. It increased my sorrow because I wanted to share this with it. I made my own noise and my companion turned to me. It lead me to a soft surface where it lay down. I realized then that my noise had communicated my desire to share the miracle. The surface was for listening and I joined my companion. This time I could not resist the urge to touch it, when it did not rebuff me, I knew that I was truly not alone.

After the piece finished and Kyle did not seem as moved by the following one, Xander continued preparing dinner. He also took careful note of what had been playing, while Xander didn’t know anything about music he did recognize that the piece which so moved Kyle was undeniably beautiful. He resolved to purchase the “Moonlight Sonata” by Beethoven, performed by Artur Rubinstein, as soon as possible.

The simple meal of spaghetti was quickly finished and they sat down at Xander’s small table to eat. Unfortunately Kyle did not know what to do but quickly picked it up when he saw Xander’s behavior. This, among other occurrences, was beginning to let Xander know that for all Kyle was a clone or something, he was smart. He never needed to be shown how to do something twice. It gave Xander hope that Kyle would soon learn to speak, as it would make things much easier. Xander considered a moment longer, it would probably help Kyle if Xander kept talking, so that he could figure out the relation of Xander’s words to his actions and the objects around.

“I’m thinking that after dinner we should probably get some sleep. Actually, maybe I’ll call my friend in Sunnydale and see if she can help set you up with an identity. If you are some sort of clone or science experiment, yet are walking around outside of the lab or whatever, someone out there is probably looking for you. Since I have no desire to meet whatever mad scientist who thought that making a sixteen year-old clone was a good idea, making you into an official person is probably the best idea. This way, you’ll have rights and stuff, should make it harder for them to do anything else to you. Hmm...We should also probably look a little more into your origins, preventing trouble is much better than waiting for it to come to you. It’ll probably help to know what you are, in any case. Going to bed a little early is looking like a good idea. We have a lot to do,” Xander paused, he was good at the babble but it was harder when your audience only looked curiously at you. Xander had been looking at Kyle during his little speech, and when he paused Kyle smiled at him. It made the small, dark place in Xander’s heart hurt a little. Xander missed his friends and longed for company.

My companion had been making noises for quite some time. It periodically made them and I was beginning to understand the pattern in them. I realized that all of its noises were meaningful, and I was slowly piecing the meanings of his noises together. I further realized that I had only made one noise to my companion, and while it had not been meaningful, he had understood me. One thing had been troubling me since the room with the water, I was fairly certain that my companion and I were of the same kind, but I had noticed one big difference. It had a little indentation in its belly but I did not. I did not know if this was important or not, nor did I actually know what I was or what my companion was.

“What am I?” the question stunned Xander, Kyle really was a fast learner. More importantly, he had one of the best voices that Xander had ever heard. It made his heart beat a little faster and sent a little tingle down his back. God, what would it be like to have that voice whispering sweet nothings in your ear? Ack! Bad thoughts! Kyle was practically a baby, sure a man-sized baby, but a baby nonetheless. One does not feel lust towards babies; even if they are large and unusual clone babies. Xander realized that this was going to be difficult to maintain boundaries. Kyle needed to grow up before being exposed to Xander’s lascivious thoughts.

“You are a guy. I’d call you a man, but neither of us seem to be quite old enough for that yet, even if I’m slowly getting there, what with being all responsible for myself now and stuff. You seem human, but not entirely sure about that. Ah, what the hell, you are as human as me. Humans have two sexes, the male and female. We are both male. Females do not have a penis,” Xander gestured towards his and Kyle’s genitals while trying not to think about the fact that he had seen Kyle’s penis, “and they have breasts. Make sense?”

Now I knew that there were humans and both male. This did not answer my question about the indentation, but it gave me enough to think about. My companion clearly thought that the penis was more significant than the indentation. Answers would have to wait until I gained a better grasp of the noises, as my skills were still rudimentary. I did notice that my companion had been initially hesitant to call me human. This meant that I was unusual in some way. Fortunately, this difference did not seem to be unpleasant to my companion.

Kyle didn’t respond, but looked deep in thought, sort of making his brow crinkle in a very endearing way. Xander left him to his thoughts to clean up the dinner stuff. Part of Xander’s own program to grow up and be a man was cleaning regularly, on top of the okay job and learning martial arts. Discipline was not one of Xander’s strengths, so he was trying to cultivate it in small ways; like doing the dishes right away instead of waiting. Xander was already starting to see the benefits and reap the rewards. It even made him feel better.

When Xander finished, Kyle still looked deep in thought. Xander was sorry to interrupt the thinking, but they needed to get ready for bed. Leading Kyle back to the washroom, he gave Kyle a toothbrush and began brushing his teeth. Kyle copied him exactly, down to each and every stroke. Xander had dressed them both in sleep clothes after their shower, so they were good there. First, though, was a small test to see if Kyle would use the toilet without being told. Xander ushered Kyle out of the bathroom and relieved himself. As soon as he left Kyle went in, and Xander was happy to hear the toilet flushing soon after.

Without much further ado, they were in Xander’s bed. Considering that it was only a bachelor’s apartment, there really wasn’t anywhere else for Kyle to sleep. All the while, Xander had been describing his actions and pointing to objects in the room while saying their names. Kyle seemed to understand the purpose of his words and was listening intently.

“Goodnight, Kyle. I hope you sleep well,” Xander smiled at Kyle as he said this.

“Goodnight, Xander. What is sleep?”

“Uh, it is something our bodies need to stay healthy. Most people usually do it at night. It prepares your body for the next day,” Xander answered with a little smile, Kyle really was like a child.

“What is a day? What is night?” Xander’s thought was only verified as Kyle asked these questions. Xander just knew that he was going to be spending a lot of time answering questions with Kyle.

“Day is when the sun is out, you saw how it was light in the forest?” Kyle nodded, “and that it is a lot darker out? When it gets fully dark, that is night. I’m sure you have more questions, but tomorrow is a better day to answer them. Okay?” One more nod.

My noise skills were getting better and I wanted my companion to keep making them so that I could ask him more questions, as well as communicate my gratitude for all that he had done. Except that it seemed that now was a period for quiet. My companion had been doing things all day and now wanted to lay and do nothing. I still had so many questions and was so curious about the world around me. However, I appreciated this chance to be close to my companion.

As Xander lay there, thinking about the strange day and the strange guy beside him, he realized that it hadn’t been a bad day. When he thought about what could have happened to Kyle if he had continued to wander around in the forest or gone into the city, he knew that something awful could have happened. Being naked in the city would probably lead to cops and stuff. Then there was the whole no talking and not knowing what things were business. Definitely of the bad.

Xander was tired and was drifting off a little when Kyle curled into him again. It made Xander smile, because he knew that kids often needed affection. Things like this made it easy for Xander to not notice Kyle’s looks. Xander hadn’t even paid real attention to his naked figure, since the situation was too strange for that sort of thing. Certainly, Kyle’s child-like ways aroused Xander’s protectiveness and obviated any lustful thoughts before they occurred.

The day after

A Little Tai Ji in the Morning

Xander had been forcing himself to wake up early and do some Tai Ji in the morning before he started his day. After a lifetime of slacking he found being disciplined a very difficult thing. He wasn’t always successful, often succumbing to the urge to sleep in. However, he was beginning to notice that the days where he woke up early were better. It was really the only thing that let him know that it was probably a good thing for him. He had only been trying to be adult-guy for a month, and was already finding it exhausting. He missed the comfort and company of his friends. Sure, as things stood before he left, he’d have to go back in the closet or come out, or something like that. That aside, his friends were the only real family that he had. He had given himself until the end of summer, if he still felt the same way, he’d go back.

As soon as Xander got out of bed, so did Kyle. Xander wondered if Kyle had managed to get any sleep, because if it were him, he probably wouldn’t have. Xander couldn’t imagine being conscious like a newborn. Sure he had gone through the same thing, but it wasn’t like he remembered it. Xander handed Kyle some more clothes to wear for the day and busied himself with preparing a light breakfast for the two of them. Another part of Xander’s multi-step process to growing up was eating properly, thus he was making a surprisingly tasty breakfast with granola, yoghurt, and fruit (it was still sweet enough to satisfy Xander’s need for sugary goodness). Suddenly remembering that he should be talking to help Kyle learn English, he started describing all of his actions as he did them.

I was happy when my companion, Xander, finally stopped sleeping. I had been quite and still for too long, thinking about what had happened to me. I had so many questions and so few answers. However, it had been pleasant to lay still with Xander. Being so close to him made me feel safe and warm. My companion immediately began to do things and soon began to make more sounds. It was comforting but also frustrating. The sounds were slowly becoming more intelligible but I wanted to understand everything Xander was saying.

“Kyle?” Kyle looked towards him at the sound of his voice, “after breakfast we are going to the park to do a little Tai Ji. I’m sure you’ll like it. I don’t know all of the forms yet, and can only practice what I’ve learned so far in class, so don’t make fun of me when I’m all bad and stuff. Hmm...maybe I should take you to the martial arts classes with me. This reminds me! We totally have to do something about getting you an official identity. ‘Cause toting you around as my cloned human pet would probably not be of the good. This is probably something that we’ll have to do later, since these dark deeds usually happen at night. We should probably find out if anyone is looking for an escaped science experiment. Might have to ask Willow for help with that, since it’ll probably involve secret labs or whatever. Also, she would probably be able to detect the signs of human cloning in the science world better than me,” I paused, because now that I was living alone and away from my friends, I hadn’t talked this much in quite some time.

“What is Tai Ji?” Kyle asked because the words did not have the same phonetic combinations as the noises Xander usually made.

“It is a type of martial art. Slow moving, helps with balance and flexibility, as well as being somewhat meditative. Martial arts are usually some structured way of fighting, most of which originate in Asia.”

“What is Asia?”

“It is a continent, one of seven. Tai Ji comes from China that is why the name sounds different, because they speak Chinese there, not English. Oh! For that matter, what we are speaking now is English. We are also in the United States of America, one of many different countries in the world,” when Xander paused again, he noticed that Kyle was ready to ask another question. Which caused Xander to put up a hand, “Kyle, I’m sure there are many things you have questions about. Unfortunately, I probably won’t be able to answer most of them, because me and school were non-mixy things. How about after the Tai Ji, and a quick shower, we head out to the library? Libraries are filled with books with facts about the world. You’ll learn more from there then you will from me. I’m not really the brightest crayon in the box, if you know what I mean.”

“I thought you were human, but now you are a crayon? What is a crayon?” Xander laughed because Kyle was so earnest when he spoke, plus he did the endearing eyebrow crinkling thing whenever he asked a question.

“See? That is what I’m talking about. Wait until the library, it’ll explain many things. After you learn a little more about the world, you can ask me more questions and I’ll do my best to help. Okay?” Kyle gave a reluctant nod. Seemed like Xander would be having another genius type of friend. The only person who he knew who was as curious as Kyle was Willow. The library really was the only answer.

By this point breakfast was finished and Xander had cleaned up the dishes. Putting on shoes, he tugged Kyle out the door.

The park wasn’t too far from where Xander lived and they arrived in fairly short amount of time. Once there, Xander quickly started practising the moves he knew. After a month of learning Tai Ji he still knew less than half of the forms. Nonetheless, the instructor had said that practising regularly would produce the greatest amount of benefits. Xander found that the meditative aspects of Tai Ji were more effective for him than the navel-gazing kinds. Turns out that he had an easier time focusing if his body was moving. Which made sense to Xander, considering that he had always been somewhat hyper. Also, the slow graceful movements of the martial art were helping Xander with his clumsiness. He was the first to admit that he did not have the grace of a jungle cat. More like one of those wobbly clown punching bags (Xander inwardly shuddered at the thought of clowns).

When we arrived at a small place similar to where I met my companion, Xander, we stopped and he began moving strangely. This was Tai Ji. There was something different about it. I soon began to do what Xander was doing and as I did so, my mind for the first time began to calm. All of my questions and worries receded. Quickly I became elated and felt both detached and connected to my surroundings. Sights and sounds all became sharper and I felt like I was standing at a precipice. But then Xander stopped, so I stopped. I could tell that there was more to the pattern of movements we had been doing and, while I could almost guess the shape of the future movements, it was lost when Xander looked at me curiously. I began to worry that I had done something wrong, but then Xander smiled at me and it filled me with a curious warmth.

After finishing one run through of the forms he knew, he noticed that Kyle was prepared to join him. Keeping his eyes open this time, he was a little surprised to see that Kyle was doing the moves with far more grace and accuracy than Xander had been able to manage so far. Xander was a little shocked, because only Buffy had ever been able to assimilate martial arts as quickly. In her case, it was more instinct and supernatural mojo that allowed her to learn them so quickly. Xander didn’t know how Kyle was able to do the forms perfectly after only seeing Xander do them once: it made Xander curious, because clone or not, he didn’t really expect that the average person was capable of learning like Kyle. Who had created Kyle? And why? Xander shook his head and smiled at Kyle.

When an hour had passed, Xander stopped with his practice and felt calm, peaceful, and prepared to meet the day. It has been only a month, so far, for the Tai Ji, but Xander was already in love with the martial art. Doing it in the morning always meant that he was generally calm and relaxed for the day. It had helped with his babbling and defensive joke making. He had been acting generally quite un-Xander-like as a result. Since he didn’t often feel uncomfortable anymore, he didn’t have to make so many jokes to hide his fear. More to the point, the Tai Ji helped a great deal with the after effects of the nightmares. Every few nights he had been having nightmares about Sunnydale. They ranged from staking Jesse to graduation. Sometimes he remembered the content of his dreams, other times he simply woke up screaming or crying. Xander was pretty sure he should be going to therapy and would seriously consider it, if weren’t for the crazy part about his experiences. How would he explain having PTSD from battle with the vampires, demons, and stuff? Something would have to be done, as Tai Ji seemed to be the only thing that was keeping him sane these days.

“Uh, so I guess we should head back to my place and change. After that, to the library! Where you can learn all about this wild and wacky world we are in,” Xander smiled widely at Kyle, who followed in his wake back to Xander’s place.

The Library

“Alright, Kyle, this, my good man, is the library. It is the home of musty and boring books, which I guess I don’t actually think is true anymore, considering how I’ve been coming here often to do some reading. Also, it gives me a little feeling of home,” Xander was speaking in a hushed voice, so he wouldn’t disturb the other patrons (since this was the main library at the University of Washington and Xander definitely wasn’t a student there and didn’t want to be kicked out).

Xander was also mildly amused that what he had told Kyle was true. In his new program of trying to grow up and have a future worth living for, he had been going to the library several times a week to do reading on various topics. Of course, for some of the reading he wanted to do, he often needed to phone Giles for suggestions for both the books he was interested in and where he might find them. This, in turn, had meant that he and Giles had been growing steadily closer. Giles, while initially surprised, had been as thrilled as a stuffy, tweedy British-guy could get. Giles was also interested to see if Xander’s approach to continuing to fight would be successful or not.

Xander’s plan to being a better and more useful Xander-shaped friend had many steps. Step one: learn how to defend himself and not be a liability in battle. He was finally ready to listen to Buffy’s concerns: he really couldn’t fight. And to continue to do so, particularly as he had been, could only really be considered passive suicide, like smoking. He also realized that he probably shouldn’t be on the front lines. Even more importantly, after the horror of leading his fellow students in battle and to their deaths, he really had no desire to ever be in that kind of situation again.

Step two: learn some of the esoteric aspects of martial arts. Since Xander knew for a fact that magic and whatever existed, it was no stretch of the imagination to think that those fantastic martial arts stories might have grains of truth. Xander was even more convinced that this was true after reading some Chinese history. The tales of Daoist immortals might simply seem like folk stories or religious propaganda, yet Xander had already experienced his own encounters with American folk stories come to life. At this point Xander was trying to figure out which was likely to be true and which would be something he would be willing to follow.

Step three: find a religion and become a practitioner. Step three was related to step two, so he was focusing on Asian religions, since many martial arts (particularly the mystical stuff) were related to Asian religions. He had already read the stories about the famous martial arts of the Xiao Lin school, which was also a Chan Buddhist monastery. Xander sort of figured that if he was going to succeed at the more mystical, magical, and esoteric practices he would have to be a sincere believer, so he was trying to find the right combination of martial arts and religion (something that wasn’t easy).

Step four: become a paramedic. This last was a little more difficult and required upgrading his high school classes and re-taking his SATs, but he thought it would be good (since he could take it at a community college, which might be the only college he was likely to afford). This was both a better job than he ever imagined for himself and it would be entirely useful for the battle. Every army needed their medics and there had been many a time when having a medic would have made things much easier for the Sunnydale group. It was also something more reliable than Step two and three, since he could fail to access any of the mystical aspects of the martial art and religion he ended up choosing.

With all of this in mind, Xander headed towards the reference section, where he had been going through their reference works on Chinese Buddhism (since Indian Buddhism didn’t have the same connection to martial arts, Tibetan Buddhism had a lot of esoteric mystical stuff he wanted to learn but he would have to go to Tibet to learn it, and Japanese Buddhism was similar enough to the Chinese that he didn’t really have to study it as a distinct area). This time, however, his first thought was for Kyle, who needed to learn a little about the world.

“Kyle, we are in what is none as the section of references, also known as the section of the most high of boring books. Nonetheless, there are several books here that should help with your questions. First, an English dictionary,” which Xander pulled off the shelf, “and next, the encyclopedia, which tells you a little about a lot.” Xander, of course did not pull the entire encyclopedia off the shelf. Instead he sat Kyle down and gave him a quick introduction to English as a written language (i.e., taught him his ABCs). After which, he explained how both the dictionary and encyclopedias worked. He took only the U volume of the encyclopedia and turned it to the entry on the United States of America, since Kyle should probably learn about this world he was now in.

“Start with this entry. Use the dictionary to look up words. I’m pretty sure that you can’t read yet, but since you are the product of a mad scientist’s probably evil experiment, I’m pretty sure you’ll figure it out really quick,” Xander trailed off as he noticed that Kyle was entirely absorbed by the books in front of him. Xander shrugged and went off to find the book he hadn’t finished reading the last time he had been here. After grabbing it, he settled down to do some reading.

Xander had taken me into a quiet building filled with many variations of the same object. I saw that many of the patterns I had seen on the side of buildings and on the streets were on these objects. Then, Xander gave me two of these things, called books, and I saw that they were filled with these patterns. As soon as I saw the pages filled something in my brain clicked and the patterns become evident and understanding suffused my being.

One Hour Later…

Xander, who although was trying to change, was still Xander. This meant that after an hour of reading he was feeling a little antsy and was more than ready for a break. However, he congratulated himself for even doing one continuous hour of focused reading (without complaining about how bored he was or making some stupid joke). He had done more before, but never without the threat of immanent apocalypse to fuel his reading. Xander had also learned that he could read longer if he indulged his distraction by reading several different kinds of things at the same time.

In any case, he looked up to see how Kyle was doing, who even if was pretty silent guy, hadn’t made a single noise or asked a single question the entire hour. Xander’s eyes widened dramatically when he realized that Kyle had a stack of about five or six encyclopedia volumes beside him and he was currently flipping through another volume at an insane pace.

“Um, Kyle, not to doubt you or anything, but should I have gotten you something with more pictures?” Xander asked, teasing slightly but with a big smile.

“No, this was perfect. I first read the dictionary and then began to learn about America. I didn’t realize there was so much to learn or that it would be so much fun,” Kyle said with a very big smile and his eyes opened wide. Xander melted a bit inside because the look was unbelievably cute and really, really endearing. On the other hand, Xander was also deeply impressed that Kyle’s language skills had improved so dramatically over the course of a single hour. Xander then realized that he would have to revise his clone hypothesis. It was looking more like Kyle might be some scientifically engineered human being, considering that he was shaping up to be smarter than Willow-smart, which on Xander’s grand scale of all things smart, was the highest level he knew.

“I’m glad. Do you want to keep reading? Or do something else?” Xander asked, even though he wanted to do something else for a little while. But if Kyle wanted to stay, Xander figured he could practice meditation again or continue learning Chinese, since it had become clear that he was heavily leaning towards some type of Chinese Buddhism and knew that all the good stuff would be written in Classical Chinese, since all the good stuff always seemed to be written in some old language that hurt Xander’s brain to read.

I became worried when I thought that I might have to leave. There were still so many books left to read before I finished the encyclopedia, which was answering so many of my questions. The more I knew, the more I wanted to know.

“I would like to finish the encyclopedia, please. I think I should only take another hour or two.” My gods, thought Xander, Kyle had the most devastating puppy eyes that Xander had ever seen. Right this second they were on full force and, had Xander had any reluctance to stay, it would have been utterly ruined under the force of Kyle’s puppy eyes.

“Yes! I was just asking! There was absolutely no call for the puppy eyes of doom! Please, please, go back to reading before I start promising you impossible things,” Xander pleaded and whimpered.

The alarmed tone in Xander’s voice worried me until the comment about puppy eyes confused me.

“You said I was a man, or boy, how could I have the eyes of a puppy?” Kyle asked, getting that cute and curious look in his eyes. Which, although less evil than the puppy eyes, were still devastating in their own right. Xander groaned, he already knew that Kyle would be the end of him, seeing as he activated Xander’s desire to protect wrapped in a beautiful body to create an irresistible package. Xander was glad that Kyle’s innocence squished any lusty thoughts before they fully formed, otherwise things would be much harder, both literally and figuratively. Whatever relationship that Kyle would have with Xander would be decided by Kyle. Considering that Kyle had, for all intents and purposes, been born yesterday, it was far too early for any question of romance to enter the picture.

“‘Puppy eyes’ is something we say to describe a certain expression. Here let me show you,” and Xander demonstrated, watching with glee as Kyle became a little panicked, “see what I mean now?”

“Yes. I had the strong desire to do something for you, but became worried because I didn’t know what you wanted.”

“Good, super. Just remember that you generally only bring out puppy eyes if someone is reluctant to give you what you want. Before, when I asked you if you wanted to stay, I only wanted to know if you were tired of reading. I like the library and don’t mind staying longer, so the puppy eyes weren’t actually of the strictly necessary in that situation.”

“I understand now, thank you for explaining. I will continue reading,” which is exactly what Kyle did, flipping through the pages at a fast pace.

“Cool beans, I’m going step outside for a moment to call Wills about getting you official ID. If you need me, I’ll be right outside the entrance, okay? Please don’t go anywhere without telling me, or I’ll get worried,” Xander waited for Kyle to nod and then headed out the door, while pulling his cell out of his pocket. He pulled up Willow’s number and hit dial as soon as he was outside. Willow pick up after only two rings.

“Xander! You’re calling, is something wrong? Are you okay? How is your trip going? Seeing anything interesting? Where are you right now? What are you doing? Are you with anybody? Met anybody interesting? Staying away from evil demon girls?” Willow, of course, did her patented Willow-babble. This got Xander laughing because, gods, he had missed her.

“Willow, you know I love the babble, but maybe you should pause so I can answer even one of the many questions you seem to have.”

“Sorry, I’m just so darned excited to finally hear from you.”

“It is really awesome to hear your voice. I’ve missed you Willow and I have so much to tell you. Unfortunately, it’ll have to wait. I’m just outside a library right now, but I left someone inside that I have to get back to. Before you start the Willow-inquisition, I will explain everything tonight, okay? Can you whip up some sort of fake history and official-like ID for a guy, around 16, birthday yesterday? I need it as soon as you can get it done,” Xander closed his eyes and waited hopefully. He didn’t know how else to get Kyle into the system and, while he had seen many a movie of back alley or underground forgers, he really didn’t want to start mucking around in the mundane dark side, on top of the mystical not-so-good part of things.

“Xander,” Xander cringed at the disapproving tone in Willow’s voice, “I hope you aren’t in trouble and not telling me.”

“No, no. I’m not in trouble and I really will explain tonight. If this helps explain some things, I also need you to do that computer thing you do so well and see if there are any signs of some sort of government or private lab, of the secret variety, around Seattle. Focus on ones that might study genetics, cloning, or human engineering. But I’m not in any danger, really.”

“Xander. I’ll do this today, but I definitely expect some answers tonight, mister. Since you can’t see me, I’ll tell you: Resolve Face.”

“Thanks, Wills. I just don’t want to leave Kyle alone for too long. Oh, by the way, for the official ID, can you make the first name Kyle and last name Smith. Hey, actually while you are at it, can this fake history of Kyle’s include a brother, named Alexander Smith, five years older? Essentially, I guess I also need a fake ID, so I can pretend to be Kyle’s brother. Can you include passports? I’ll send you a picture of Kyle in an hour. Make our parents recently deceased, with me as Kyle’s legal guardian. Oh, yes, last can you make us have family in Vancouver, Canada?”

“Xander, you’re starting to get me worried and I’m smart enough that I’m beginning to guess at what is going on. Can I assume that your demony magnetness is at work?”

“Kinda, which should explain why I can’t tell you everything right now, since I’m in a public place and there are people around. This seems to be more with a people type problem than a hellmouthy problem, which is why I need the official stuff.”

“Okay Xander, I should have some initial info about labs when we talk later, although more detailed information is going to take longer. I’ll also set you up with a secure email account, so we can communicate safely if you have to run or something. The other stuff will take a little longer, since I’m guessing you want complete histories that will stand up to some scrutiny. They won’t be full proof but it does help that I’m in Sunnydale and you will still be. I’ll have the death certificates of your parents, yours and Kyle’s birth certificates, your state IDs, passports, etc., all sent to you in a week. After I set up your email account, email me an address to send it all, but use your new name,” Xander breathed a sigh of relief, since Willow was going to help. He and Kyle would be fake brothers, but they could get into Canada easily if it turned out that the US government had made Kyle and wanted him back. ‘Cause anybody that was making human beings was definitely not on the side of the good, particularly considering that there hadn’t been any big news splash about. If this science project was on the up and up, then everyone would already know about it.

I briefly watched my companion depart, momentarily worried that he would leave. My reading so far indicated that people were usually not as nice as Xander and I was worried that his compassion and patience might come to an end. Still, I remembered that he did not want me to leave without telling him, saying he would worry. This warmed me. For all that I had learned, these reactions to Xander were confusing to me. I returned to the clarity of the books and continued reading, shortly after Xander returned.